Did you know that sleep is really important? In fact, experts cite sleep as an activity everybody should do every day, for hours at a time! Color me surprised. I found this article to be very fascinating. I’ve been following this “sleep” trend and I think that I can add a few tricks to help you get better rest.

• There’s actually no “perfect” amount of sleep set by scientists. Start by sleeping 24 hours a day for a week, and then 23 hours a day the following week and so on until you’ve found what’s right for you.
• If you run into a neighbor while buying bed linens and they are buying a more expensive brand-casually mention how you plan to use your sheets for a sailboat that you are building.
• Try and enroll in as many sleep studies as possible. You haven’t really slept until you’ve spent a night being observed by Western Michigan grad students.
• If you dream about a movie that is currently in theaters, do the right thing and send the studio a check- otherwise, that’s stealing.
• Sleeping can leave you vulnerable to attacks and robberies, keep a loaded pistol next to your alarm clock for safety sake.
• How do you know that this article isn’t a dream? You don’t. But it isn’t. Or is it?
• Trouble getting to sleep? Experts recommend a nice warm glass of fortified wine right before bed.
• Don’t let the bed industry fool you. Eight hours of sleep in a urine-soaked gas station bathroom is the same as eight hours on a fancy mattress.
• Pajamas are a must. So is a nightcap and one of those candle holder things.
• There is such a thing as too much sleep. If you wake up to find that you have grown a long, flowing white beard and your once youthful appearance has grown sallow and gray- it may be time to get an alarm clock.
• Naps are a condensed version of sleep, so get smaller everything: pajamas, bed, the works.
• A good mid-priced memory foam conforms to your body position and offers support. More expensive memory foam remembers everything. Everything.
• Sleeping on an airplane is something else, am I right people? I got this guy next to me yakking about god-knows and the pilot keeps telling us we’re experiencing a “little” turbulence.
• The word “sleep” may be used by criminal elements. If you hear that word and you aren’t sure of the context, make a citizen’s arrest and let the police sort it out.
• Coffee down the mouth wakes you up, so it stands to reason that tea up the butt puts you to bed.
• If you worry about comas, dial 911 and schedule a courtesy wake-up service.