Feb 182010
A lot of people have questions about dogs, like: “hey, Steve, what are dogs afraid of?” and “stay away from my family!” So I am here to help you, the common dog owner, with some tips to raising a healthy, wealthy and polite dog.
- Dogs respect a take-charge, gets-things-done kind of guy; so whenever you are around the dog, be sure to dress in sharp power suits and for the love of god, carry a briefcase.
- Most dogs have innate skills like herding. So, get a herd or something.
- Confidential to Las Cruces, NM: That’s too much dynamite.
- Be like the Dog Whisperer and get a TV show. Most breeds respond well to the promise of airtime. or a chance to meet Cake Boss.
- A dog wouldn’t have there wherewithal to sabotage your science rocket. Or so you think.
- If you have a dog who likes to run, get him a heart rate monitor so he can begin a challenging interval program.
- Lazy dogs are lacking mental stimulation. Enroll your pet at the local community college.
- Travel a lot? Look in to getting a dog/suitcase hybrid breed. The Labra-Pullman is very popular:
- Must Love Dogs* gets a lot more wrong than it does right about owning a dog. But John Cusack as a boat maker? Yes please!
- Teach your dog to ski or surf, it makes for great slice-of-life material for your local news.
*From Goofs section of MLD’s IMDb entry: “When Sarah is surfing the internet, there are no cables connected to her iBook, so she should be using an airport wifi connection. But on the next scene, when we see a close up of the menu bar, the airport wifi icon shows the airport connection turned off.” (ed note: !)
One Response to “Dogs: A How To”
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Yo! This article is awesome!